About Being Furry

Published in: ‘Inzine’, The Loft, March 2010.

Recently, a friend of mine joked that I am “a bit furry”. Given that I have often been compared to a “rug”, a “hairy spider-monkey” or “a wookie”, this one hardly bothered me at all. As I have toyed with the idea more, I have proudly adopted this description as my own.

You see, I have a lot of body hair. Not just a few tufts here and there, but hair so upsetting that my mother used to wax my neck. Hair so invasive that a booking is required well in advance of going out for dinner anywhere, just so they can clear enough space to fit me in.

In the era of the cavemen, it identified the Alpha Male. In the 70s, actors like Ted Danson, Peter Selleck and Churck Norris made those years the Time of Chest Hair as they graced the screen with proudly worn pelts. It was the early 90s though with the arrival of bronze, smooth, mahogany chests like Brad Pitt’s that saw its appreciation markedly diminish.

The confusion that furry males feel is further heightened by advertising. On the telly, you will see ads which contribute more to our body image uncertainty. Fantastic new gym machines; operated by classy and trendy models.  Hip new modes of fashion; worn by classy and trendy models. Beers and social drinks; consumed by- you guessed it- trendy and classy models.

All of these things sell products which use the desire we all have to heighten our chances with the opposite sex. But does sex appeal go hand in hand with having a body that is the perfect ten? I would like to argue not.

Ignoring my polite behaviour, optimism and piercing blue eyes, I imagine that my carpet-like status makes me more like a six. Such modesty is a result of the varying ways women feel about furriness. Whilst some disdain it to like ‘being with a silver-backed gorilla’, others like Tanya Gold talk about how their rug-like beaus make them feel ‘remarkably feminine.’

Films of late have reduced the stigma of being au naturel, with actors like Hugh Jackman sometimes baring their hairy chests. In 40 Year Old Virgin, Steve Carrell’s hilarious chest waxing shows how painful it can be to conform to the idea that sex appeal is best found by altering our natural appearance. After seeing that, how can I still consider it worth inflicting such agony on myself just to improve my own sex appeal?!

In the end, it is better to be happy with who you are. Sex appeal differs from one person to the next, and spending money doesn’t always improve what you have. When you have pride in yourself and appearance and take pride in those- that creates an aura which will draw others to you.